Friday Five in the Millions

So I've been looking for creative ways to juice up my new YouTube video series and I've found some common thread among those who have successfully attained millions of subscribers.
It seems like quite a throw to get from 12 to One Million, but this is the internet where exponential numbers are the norm, not the exception.

I've discovered many traits that make a successful channel, but today, today I will share with you just five of the things my channel needs

First: My channel needs this guy. All that is required is a few more years playing RPG's, massive amounts of processed foods, and I need to convince my wife to stop washing my shirts.

Second: My channel needs a hot chick. Not "Porn" hot, more like "Girl Next Door" hot. And she either needs to know a lot about make-up, or drug culture, and or have a filthy mouth.

Third: My channel needs more fads. Like Pokemon or MineCraft or a Kardashian or that plastic thing my son uses to make jewelry with rubber bands, something that's super hot, but not so complicated that it would confuse the girl next door.

Fourth: My channel needs more illegal content. Like unapproved cover songs, or accidental nudity.

Fifth: My channel needs a second hot chick who has a sorta serious, sorta playful crush on the first hot chick, so there should be touching, but not enough to upset the christians.

If you or any of your friends next door have any of these things please feel free to share them on my channel:

Oh, and like Five point Five, my channel needs subscribers.

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