Talk of the Nation

I read today that NPR is canceling Talk of the Nation.

And then I read the Peter Dinklage is being replaced by Warwick Davis on Game of Thrones.

And then I looked at the date.

And then I had to go back to the NPR article and see when it was posted.

Which was three days ago.

So NPR is in fact, canceling Talk of the Nation.

And Peter Dinklage is still Tyrion Lannister.

And Warwick Davis is still the best link between Star Wars and Harry Potter in the competitive world of Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon. He's also the reason why we couldn't have named our son Willow in case our boy had the misfortune of being born a girl.

I say misfortune because I have a hard enough time being human, let alone being a girl one. That must just be awful. I also have this feeling that I'm gonna need to purchase flowers after this post has been finished.

So a friend of mine, a girl, posted that it was sad that Talk of the Nation was going to be canceled and replaced with a show that is more news centric. I agree with her that it's sad. I too like Talk of the Nation.

And yet.

And yet.

I secretly hate it too.

And I hate it because I hate listening to most people talk.

There . . .  I've said it.

Most likely, if you're talking about something, I hate you.

Because, most likely, your gonna say something stupid, or illogical, or simply something I disagree with, but I am in no way able to debate you on the subject matter.

Case in point:

A guy walks into my shop. It's Monday, he's cranky and he's also very upset about the new health care laws because he works in the health care industry and this is the day that he has to begin a whole new regimen of bureaucracy.

I get it. I too hate bureaucracy.

Sooo much!

But this guy starts talking about how the government should "just stay the hell away".

At which point I snapped back a little.

Cause his children go to public schools. And he got to my shop on public roads. And the water used to make his coffee doesn't have any cholera in it.

If you think you want to live in a world with no government involvement, then I seriously suggest you rethink the entire scope of your existence.

And don't drink the water.

Because Government is lazy. Government is corrupt. Government is an overly complicated dog fight mess.

Government doesn't want to fix things. Fixing things suck. Government wants everything to work right and stay working right.

Government will go out of its way to not have to fix things.

So imagine how absolutely shitty a job you have to be doing in order for the government get off its ass. You literally have to be killing people.

And even then it might take decades. You know why? Cause they do things badly. Cause they're lazy and corrupt and overly complicated.

So yeah, dude, it sucks sometimes, but its kinda your fault. Enjoy your coffee.

Now if he had said that he has to fill out three forms instead of one, and that the government sucks sometimes, I'd totally agree.

Hell yeah it does. Enjoy your coffee.

But no, he had to take one little gripe to a totally irrational conclusion.

Which is why I don't like listening to people talk.

Except when they're talking about something that they know a lot about.

Which is why I secretly loved and hated Talk of the Nation.

If you're not familiar with the program, the format was simple:

Take a subject.

Any subject.

Then bring in 2-4 experts in that particular subject with differing view points and backgrounds. Then for the first hour, have a lively, literate, logical debate about the subject, moderated by a person well equipped to let you state your case, keep you from rambling, a smart enough to tell the difference between discourse and propaganda.

Sounds like a good hour.

But then, lets invite people to call and weigh in on the subject.

Good god.

Like fingernails on a chalkboard.

To go from smart people talking a bout things they know a lot about, to the other 90% who live in misinformed opinion land . . .

And the worst part wasn't the conservatives, for at least they were brief, the worst part was the jackass liberals who just didn't know when to shut up.

Meat is murder.

By the universal scale, so is breathing in and out.

Ga head.

Stop breathing.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because Calvin has decided he wants to be Both-Handed. I asked him if he knew the word for someone who is both handed and he said "No."

I told him the word was "ambidextrous" and he said "Oh" and ran away.

I remember wanting to be Both-Handed. I was in the second grade and I saw a picture of a college class room where they had those teeny tiny writing desks. A desk solely for right handers.

I, being left handed, thought I was going to have to learn how to write with my right hand if I was going to ever get to college. For a few weeks I filled up pages and pages of lined notebook paper with right handed writing before I gave up, or most likely forgot about it.

But Calvin wants to throw with his left hand, so our nightly game of catch is getting a little farcical. And I just want to tell him that it's okay to just be right handed.

Be right handed and get good at throwing the ball.

Be like the first hour of Talk of The Nation.

Before they let the nation talk.