F-Bomb

Wait Dad?

Hmm?

Can you go to jail for saying a bad word?

Not in this country.

Cause today, a fifth grader, was singing "We Will Rock You" but instead of saying "Rock" he said "We Will, We Will, Eff You."

Very funny, but you know you're too smart to use those words, right?

Uh huh.

Wait dad?

Yes?

Is it better to say "The Eff word" or to say "Bleep" like they do on TV?

It's best not to use either, but if you do have to make mention of a bad word, then just say "A Bad Word."

Kay.

Do you know who recorded that song?

No.

A band called Queen.

Oh.

And the band had a lead singer named Freddie Mercury, and the guitar player, Brian May used a silver coin instead of a guitar pick.

Oh . . .  wait dad?

Yes?

Where's mom?

Its no secret that I can get rather curse wordy when the spirit moves me. If you have a delicate constitution, its best not to be riding shot gun when I'm merging onto traffic and you probably don't want to read some of my earlier posts.

I've been toning it down a bit on paper, but out loud, out loud, I've been getting a little carried away.

There's no doubt that Calvin's little ears have resonated with the sound of his own father spewing the kind of sonic filth one might hear at a Dead Kennedy's reunion tour. So he's far more world weary than his deceiving little doe-eyed face would have you believe.

But he is only seven. And I should set a better example.

I don't remember my parents swearing much, so I don't really know when I adopted a sailor's vocabulary, but it was most likely due to the music I listened to and the books I read and the people I hung out with.

Suburban lower middle class white kids sure know how to talk hard.

I do remember dropping the F-Bomb when my paternal grandmother was in the room, but I immediately apologized and changed the subject.

Sometimes I wonder if other languages are as rich in dirty expressions as the english one is. Or if they are as versatile. To be a poet in one breath and a pimp in another.

Quite a mean little feat if you ask me.

Yet I think its time to start being a little more wary of the language I use around my children, and around the other people that have to share a room with me.

Unless,

Unless you are in my car.

Then all bets are off.