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Hard not to get political in the dog dangling days of Decision Twenty Twelve. Seems the airwaves have every intention of turning your complacency into outrage.

Do you like nice things?

Sure do.

Then vote Romney, cause with Obama you can't have nice things.

Do you like sex?

Hell yeah!

Then vote for Obama, cause Romney doesn't want you to have any.

Do you want money taken out of your paycheck to pay for political adds?

Fuck no.

Then vote Yes on 32.

Do you want a 60 hour work week for you and your toddler?

Me . . . no.

Then vote No on 32.

Which I have every intention of doing. Cause the union I belong to fights for better copyright infringement laws, just as the teacher's union fights for smaller class sizes, and the Ice Cream Truck driver's union fights for more variety in the songs they play. Or at least they should.

But I can see the other side's point. If my company were to take money out of my paycheck to pay for a Romney ad because his policies are friendlier to tax loopholes for coffee roasters, I'd be a bit pissed.

and by "a bit" I mean "Really Fucking"

And, yes, I've let the cat out of the bag.

I admit it.

I'm an Obama supporter.

Cause, dude, c'mon.

The man can sing like Al Green, dunk a basketball, he saved the world from a great depression and put two bullets in Bin Laden's head before dumping his corpse in the ocean.

The man's a super badass.

I honestly don't understand why he isn't universally adored.

So to all you Conservative/republican/tea baggers, hey, we are not going to see eye to eye, really ever. I'm firmly planted on this side of the tracks, you're firmly planted on the other. Lets us drink our beers and toast to our shared Americanness.

But to you . . . you lilly livered . . . whiny . . . fair weathered . . . limp wristed liberals . . .

All I've heard from you people is that you're disappointed. That Obama hasn't done enough. That he never lived up to your expectations. That he didn't communicate well. That he was too middle of the road.

It's so bad that there's a pro Obama ad running right now with Morgan Freeman doing the voice over and he sounds almost apologetic. Like "Gee, fellow Americans, I know you're sad, but we can do better, really we can."

Jesus Christ, are you kidding me?

Are you honestly trying to tell me that because President Obama hasn't championed every single one of your pussy agendas that he has failed you in some way?

O. M. F. G.

Have you been paying attention?

The lunatic fringe is sharpening their sticks and donning war paint and all you can do is stare at your feet. You're gonna get us killed.

I hate you all so much right now.

Okay, breathe, breathe.

I'm better.

But seriously. If you can't vote FOR something, at least for fuck's sake vote AGAINST something.

If you're not riled up enough to throw your panties on President Obama's stage, then at least try to imagine what Governor Romney has planned for your vagina.

And yes, I will admit freely that I actively voted for Ralph Nader in 2000. I threw my vote right out the window because of how much I hated Tipper Gore. But lets face it, if you are out classed by Dee Snyder in a Senate hearing, you really need to get your ass out of politics.

But I was 24, and the economy was growing, and we had a budget surplus, and I didn't live in fucking Florida.

And I'm not telling you to not stand up for your beliefs. Stand up! Talk Hard! Write letters, post signs, march, whatever.

But we live in a two party system. No way out of that shit. No fucking way.

So pick a goddam side and be supportive. Get elected and THEN push for change.

When Calvin comes of age, I will tell him the same thing.

But I hope I don't have to.