Who's Gonna Trump Trump?

Photo by Gage Skidmore

So I had this weird thought.

What if Donald Trump became President of the United States?

Like right now we're all laugh laugh haha, but it's not like we haven't elected a few paranoid narcissistic egomaniacs on both side of the aisle.

(Looking at you Nixon . . . Looking at you Teddy.)

Granted . . . I'd take Teddy Roosevelt over Nixon, Trump, and just about anyone elected in my lifetime, but for absolute sheer unadulterated unabashed gravitas, you gotta admit Teddy was on fire.

And if you're like "But Teddy wasn't xenophobic like Trump . . . he wasn't racist."

Um . . . yeah . . . sorry to push your button . . . but go ahead and look up the term Rough Rider. And after that go ahead and Google Roosevelt and the Philippines.

The guy who gave us national parks and dismantled the robber barons wasn't the affable Robin Williams from "Night at the Museum"

The dude once got shot in the chest during a campaign rally . . . and finished his speech before going to the hospital.

My kinda crazy . . . but still . . . crazy.

Anyway, you absolutely want to roll your eyes at the insanity that is the group of Republican Candidates . . . of which there are currently seventeen . . . and none of them even moderately coherent.

"Coherent" might not be the word.

"A realistic model for executive power." might be cleaner.

Not yet . . . anyway . . . who knows?

But I haven't wrapped my head around Hillary Clinton yet either.

Which sort of lead me to the first thought.

What if a clear front runner never materializes? What if by default Trump gets nominated just through the sheer force of his will?

And then . . . what if, because of near complete apathy, liberals like myself don't bother showing up to the polls on the first Tuesday in November and President Donald Trump takes the oath of office a few months later?

Insaner things have happened.

Much much much insaner things.

And what would we get?

Well . . . first we'd get a guy who doesn't owe the Koch Brothers any favors.

If you don't know who they are or what that means, look them up.

They're some scary shit right there.

We'd also get a guy who doesn't owe the Christians any favors.

If you don't know who they are, or what that means, stop reading right now.

We'd get a pig headed misogynist for sure . . . but get this . . . he's the only candidate who hasn't promised to dismantle Planned Parenthood . . . unlike Mike Huckabee who just came out in favor forcing an 11 year old girl who was raped by her step-dad to conceive the child.

Yeah . . . that just happened.

He's also the only candidate that said he wouldn't comment on the Iran Treaty until he'd read it.

16 other candidates would tear up the treaty that has taken six years of negotiation. A treaty they haven't even read yet. They were just following the party line . . . obviously . . . but still . . . that's no executive model.

Okay . . . so we'd build a twenty foot wall all along the Mexican border.

But just think of the boon that would be for the Mexican economy. Our workers certainly wouldn't be building it.

It's like a win win.

The point is . . . he's not Caligula . . . because if he was that . . . we'd never hear from him again.

He's not Nero or Commodus or the Medici's or a Lannister.

He's not Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin, or Idi Amin, and he may be Big Brother . . . but the television version not the Orwell version.

He's leading in the poles right now because he is exceptionally good TV.  Eventually one of the other candidates is going to step up and look strong and that's all it will take to shift the tide and then it's off to the races.

But what if?

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