ProNation


I got to learn a fun thing this week.

Apparently I'm a bit of an over-pronator.

Along with being a procrastinator and a Leo.

It's really not anything that is that much of a big deal. It just essentially means that when I run, I kinda run on the outside of my foot and push off with my little toes instead of my big ones.

It's a fun bit of info, because earlier this month I'd been finding that during any kind of exercise my outside calves were screaming at me. I would have normally assumed it would be the rest of my body doing all the yelling, but no, it was the calves that were very super angry.

Which they had every right to be.

Because I was clearly not wearing the correct shoe.

A running shoe isn't just a running shoe.

Like one might think.

Nope . . . now they are very specifically designed for which style of running you'd been running all this time.

Supination, running on the inside of your foot.

Neutral, practically perfect in every way.

Pronation, me  . . . that one's me.

My calves were clearly angry because I was trying to force their pronating ways into a supinator's shoe.

It's like that feeling you get when you put your T-shirt on backwards. You could get away with it but you'd feel weird all day.

And when it comes to the literal shoe fitting, a lot of importance is placed on impact for the sake of all the muscles and joints and effluvia that makes you you.

Luckily . . . it was my birthday . . . and I was taken out to get new shoes just after learning this fun new shoe fact. (Thanks Mom and Jeff)

It was not hard to notice a difference right away. Like immediately.

So my concern here . . . (other than the fact that this is the longest amount of writing I've ever dedicated to footwear) . . . is why . .. if this is indeed a thing . . . why I'd never heard of it or noticed before?

Why don't shoes say what they are on the package?

I'd been running on the wrong shoes for a month thinking that my calves were just being little babies. I could've done real damage.

Well . . . maybe not real damage . . . but I certainly called a few outings short because my legs were gonna give in. (We're talking reducing a 20 minute workout to 15 minutes, I'm not an athlete nor will I ever play on on TV.)

Anyway . . . to make a long story fit a certain amount of column inches . . . there are certain things that just aught to be made common knowledge.

Like I shouldn't have gotten this far without someone explaining the importance of shoe structure.

I knew that new is better. They should be comfortable, not unreasonably ugly, and priced in the neighborhood of a good sit down meal.

But Nike just assumed I knew more than that.

Which is weird because back when I was in customer service . . . I always assumed the opposite.

I even trained my staff to always assume that the customer knows nothing. If you walked into my store, an I didn't recognize you, it was my duty to treat you like a stupid petulant child until you proved anything but.

Like . . . if you walked up to my counter and ordered tea . . . I would not just go get you tea.

There was a protocol. An entire dropdown of menu options and possibilities.

So . . . you walk up and say you want tea . . . the first thing I do is ask if you would like iced or hot tea. If you said hot tea . . . the next question I would ask is if you wanted black, green, or herbal tea.

(Yes . . . I know it's technically an Herbal Infusion, but remember, I'm talking to a stupid child at this point.)

Now, if you said you wanted a green tea, I would ask you if you wanted something smooth, grassy, or floral.

If you said floral, I could then point you to a very nice Jasmine Green tea.

That might seem like a lot of effort for a two dollar beverage, but there are literally hundreds of differing possibilities when someone says the word "Tea" and my crew was talented enough to single out one by asking four little easy to answer, close ended questions.

So I'm 39 and you would've thought that at some point in my life I walked up to a guy behind the counter and when I said the word shoes, I'd have gotten the pronation question.

He would say: Do you pronate when you run?

And I would say: I have no idea what you just said.

And then he would begin his stupid child speech with: Well . . . [insert eye roll] let me explain . . .

And so on and so forth.

The good news is that I'm now fully aware of this whole sub-genre of running shoe construction thanks to my step-dad's early research and a plethora of very passionate websites dedicated to this subject alone.

And I'm learning new things too . . . like how tightly to tie my shoes and how to make sure i use the upper-most eyelet to increase stability.

And my calves feel better.

Which is fantastic.

I think I shall go have some tea.

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