I'm pretty sure I had some excuse, like, my camera phone wasn't working, or I didn't cook up anything new this week, or the dog ate it, or I had to figure out where that dog came from, or I had to spend some serious rehearsal time for Saturday's show, or there were just a lot of books I haven't read.
I think, though . . . I was just lazy.
That happens too.
Or maybe the meds just never kicked in.
Anyway, I thought I makes some sort of amends by doing a food five, which is sort of a 'two birds with one stone' situation, cause I get to make up for my laziness, but without having to do any additional work.
I should really be a consultant.
Anyway, it's just now 9am Pacific Standard Time, and I've already made five meals, one of which I didn't make, and one of which is actually two meals, so it all works out in the end.
Meal One: Coffee.
Okay so I didn't actually make the coffee. My beautiful wife did. And you're also probably thinking that coffee is not a meal, but you'd be wrong. There was a time in my life that I didn't eat a single thing except for a pot of coffee until dinner.
I was skinnier then.
And coffee isn't just an "Add Hot Water" situation in this house. It takes timing and effort and skill, and, thanks to my beautiful wife, just a little bit of magic.
See, you have to know when to make the coffee. She gets up earlier than I do, because God loves her more, and she has to time it perfectly so that it's ready by the time I'm able to claw my way out of whatever grave I'd been sleeping in, but not so early that the liquid gets all scorched by the time I get to it.
It also has to be good coffee. Nearly fifteen years with the best coffee in the world has ruined me for other grounds, and lets face it, I was pretty snobby to begin with. Today's cup is Peet's Anniversary Blend, which every year, highlights some of the best and freshest African beans. I look forward to it every year.
Paying for it sucks, and not being recognized at my local shop sucks even more, but well, that bird has flown.
Then we get to the magic part. Now I don't know if you know this, but in Italy, having the ability to make a good cup of coffee, is considered a special talent. Not like the ability to curl your tongue 'special', but like the ability to bend spoons with your mind 'special'.
Apparently it's genetic and passed down through generations, so even though I spent a third of my life dedicated to the craft, my wife stills makes a better cup than I do.
No reason . . . just magic.
And once I've had one or two, morning is ready to begin:
Meal Two: A bowl of Frosted Flakes.
This is not as easy as it sounds. Even getting this decision is complicated, for there are four or five different options most mornings: Eggs or Waffles or Bagels or Pancakes, just to name a few. Sometimes we are out of the very specific thing my son is willing to eat that morning and Frosted Flakes becomes the consolation prize.
Now I'm not a big fan of sugary cereals. I think I was once. Way back when they came in those tiny multi-packs that were too small for a single serving so you had to decide which of the two different cereals would go together best:
Like you could combine Lucky Charms and Cheerios, but not Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Puffs.
Told you I was a snob.
Anyway, I lost the sugary cereal battle long ago, so there's always a box in my house.
But I can't just serve it up.
There are rules.
A bowl has to be made available, then I have to be observed filling the bowl with the right amount. He could obviously do this himself, but everything's better when dad does it.
Milk has to be set aside and added in small increments so that the flakes remain crunchy throughout the whole meal and once finished the bowl has to be immediately whisked away or the flakes will set like cement on the edges of the ceramic bowl.
Told you it was complicated.
Meal Three: Purple Cabbage Salad with Kale.
Cause I'm a smart boy, I've pre shredded all the stuff while cooking last night's dinner, so all I really have to do is fill the Tupperware and add the toppings. The options for the toppings this morning were tuna, shredded chicken, or a nice cobb with turkey and salami slices, and the bean choice is black, kidney or garbanzo.
Today's choice was tuna with sunflower seeds and kidney beans and a balsamic vinaigrette. Usually there are candied pecans that my wife calls her "spicy nuts."
As in: "Hey baby, don't choo be forgetin my spicy nuts!"
But there were no spicy nuts available this morning.
The lunch bag will be topped off with a bottle of water, a napkin, and a clean fork. I will be asked if I remembered the fork and no matter what my answer, she will check the bag.
I don't blame her . . . I can't be trusted.
Meal Four: 1/2 Tuna Salad Sandwich, juice box, bag of Cheese-its.
Normally I'll make something bland and boring like a few slices of turkey on bread, but today I had some tuna that wasn't going to make it into my wife's lunch salad.
He has been experimenting over the last few days with his sandwich choices and will inform me when I pick him up from school, which part of the sandwich was a hit and which wasn't. Yesterday it was turkey, but with cheese, lettuce, and get this . . . a slice of tomato.
He had tried a slice of tomato on a burger a few weekends back and has been curious as to how it would taste on a sandwich.
The tomato slice was not a hit, for he only ate 3/4s of his 1/2 sandwich. It made the bread soggy. The lettuce leaf went over big however, so it was added today by special request.
The juice box and bag of Cheese-its need no further explanation.
Meal Five: The Breakfast Frittata
A cup of Kale, a half cup of kidney beans, and sautéed in a pan. Six eggs (beaten), added to the mix and then the whole thing goes into the oven at 385 to cook for ten to twenty minutes depending upon how dry you like you eggs.
This is actually four breakfast meals. Two people for two days, so don't let the six eggs scare you. When microwaving the wedges on day two, I find that 70 seconds is perfect. But oddly, it works best if you do it for 40 seconds, check it, and then cook it for 30 more seconds. I really really don't know why this is.
My wife tops hers with a sprinkle of salt and a few bloops of tabasco. I top mine with a hefty crank of freshly ground garlic salt and a puddle of sriracha. To each his own.
So there you have it, five-ish friday meals.
Only there's a catch.
See, I just went through a bunch of my old blogs, because after rereading today's, I felt like I might have been repeating myself.
And boy did I.
http://waitdad.blogspot.com/2014/12/how-to-breakfast.html
Heres a link to this exact same blog written last December, which highlights two incredible points: One, nothing ever changes, and Two, there's nothing new under the sun. And yes, this looks really lazy, but it's also kind of fun to see the same jokes told in different moods. I was clearly irate in the first one, where today I'm more airy and loving.
The meds must have kicked in.
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