HTT: How To Unlike

It's been a whirling dervish of a morning.

First, I got a note back from a publisher, who my step-mom hooked me up with, that I should hear back from them in about a week.

Only a week?

That's unheard of.

It's taken me longer to cook a potato.

I also found out that I'll be the opening act for Misty Boyce on April 3rd at the Naked Lounge in Sacramento. If you don't know who that is . . . don't feel bad . . . I too had to look her up . . . but she just came off a two year tour with my absolute favorite pop/singer/songwriter/unrequitedcrush, Sara Bareillis.

(Don't worry about the crush thing . . . my wife knows and she's cool with it.)

Wanna small world story? My wife is good friends with Sara's sister, I used to work with her other sister, and now I get to open for her opener. One of these days I'm sure I'll be pouring coffee for her booking agent and we'll all have gone full circle.

Anyway, last but not least, as I was updating all my music websites (of which there are five) with all the cool new changes in my seemingly unchanging life, I found that I have somehow lost 4 likes on my "Wait . . . Dad?" Facebook Page.

Yesterday I had a very loving 104, and today I am down to 100.

What did I say?

What did I do?

Why hath thou forsaken me?

Having "Likes" is different than having "Friends"

Having "Friends" on your home site just means that you have a few casual connections, but having "Likes" on your "Page" means that people are actively interested in what you are doing and what you have to say about the world.

I've lost one or two before, but four in one day?

That's a 3.84% drop.

Mondays must really be hard.

I'm not hurt (necessarily), but it is sort of a call to action, wouldn't you think?

Anyway, I thought for today I'd use this "How To Tuesday" to go over my work and make a mental note of all the things I may be doing that would cause such consternation and or what kind of future changes I may be having to make:

Problem One: Politics
I have been told that my politics can get a little nutty. Especially when it comes to hot button issues. Now . . . in all fairness . . . I do try to keep a lot of balance to my work . . . posting highlights on both sides of the spectrum . . . and shooting for a reasonable middle. (For instance, I'm all for gun rights and I'm all for gay rights and I really think those two should team up . . . party of the millennia). But I can get carried away, and sometime my satire gets a little too close, a little too insane, and most importantly, a little too not funny.

Problem Two: Religion
Yeah . . . I am so very very guilty of poking that lion with a sharp stick. And the older I get and the more I read  . . . well . . . the poison in my pen gets more concentrated. I looked back on about seven different posts and realized not a single one of them is without some kind of jesus/mormon/allah/oldtestament barb. Not even the recipe blogs. Nothing will get you unliked quicker than firing shots into a person's fundamental experience with the universe.

Problem Three: Sex
This is an adult show. But it's not like I'm sharing the contents of my night stand. My mother reads this every day. Don't think I don't keep that in mind.

Problem Four: Pop Culture Snobbery
Now, I will admit that sometimes you might have to google what I'm talking about. Don't worry about it. I usually had to google it before I began typing. It sounds like I'm smart and funny and quick witted and all . . . but most of this stuff I steal . . . and I take really good notes . . . and I remember lots of things . . . and I make a lot of it up.

Problem Five: Child Abuse
This is no laughing matter. Like . . . ever. But I do go out on a limb sometimes when it comes to satirizing my relationships with my children. Like I wrote this one joke that you can hit your son in the face with a baseball if he's crowding the plate, but you can't hit him with a baseball for not eating his broccoli. You'd get that if you've ever participated in coach/parent pitched baseball games, but you might find it rather reprehensible if not. For the record . . . I spoil my children rotten and have never hit them with a baseball and they both eat their broccoli.

Problem Six: No Editorial Staff
See, it's awfully nice to be able to just say anything I want whenever I want to say it with no real repercussions other than it's possible to find my phone number on my website. (For booking purposes only please) Anyway, without a second eye, I end up with quite a few typos and phrasing problems. Like . . . I can hear it in my head and it sounds perfectly funny (I'm sooo guilty of making myself laugh), but taken another way, from another viewpoint, I might come across as stupid and/or downright nasty.

I do have a loving wife who will text me immediately if something reads terribly. Or if I've gone too far. Or if I've given away some personal information that I shouldn't be giving away. I almost always take her advice and take the piece down, or change it, and when I don't I'm always sorry.

Always.

Anyway, we (you and I) need to get those "Likes" back. Maybe not the same "Likes." I think those people have made it perfectly clear I'm no longer fun for them, but you know, some new "Likes"

So if you can, do me a favor.

If you smile, hit "Like"

If you laugh out loud, hit "Share"

If wanna comment . . . comment.

The more that comes back to me, the better, funnier, safer place this will be for all of us.

Oh . . . and come to my show : )