TBT: It's Not You . . . It's Me

So this week on Throwback Thursday, I'd like to point out a very special moment in time.

This week in history was the week that Henry VIII decided the the Roman Catholic Laws were really great, except for that whole thing about divorce.

So he proclaimed himself to be the leader of the brand new, right off the lot, Church of England.

Which would be the same as the Roman Catholic Church in just about every way except for the minor point that now he can go through as many wives as needed to give him a healthy son.

That . . . and give William Shakespeare and Herman's Hermits hit singles.

What's interesting about this particular point in history is that we can see that the best way to get around god's laws is to change them, and the best way to get around diet and exercise is bigger clothes.

It's unfortunate that his inability to sire a son was more than likely due to his flaccid spermatozoa than to any disfunction on his wives' part, but science wasn't going to give that that much study for another four hundred years.

Blame the girl.

Blame the church.

Pass the roast beast.

Anyway . . . so this dude is known for a lot of things. The delicate peace following the War of the Roses, Reformation, the Divine Right of Kings.

But what he's mostly known for is his break-up with the Pope, and of course, five of his six wives.

How lovely the sixth wife must have felt when he died prematurely as his poor massive heart valves gave up the ghost.

But considering that he didn't have much of a positive track record when it comes to being much of a husband, what exactly do you think the last few girls must have been thinking?

The marriages were dispatched like this:

Death during Childbirth

Okay, so like the first annulment, sure. Sometimes things don't work out. Anne Boleyn was beheaded next, but that must have been clearly her fault, but then Jane Seymour dying before she could star in "Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman." Then another hasty marriage resulting in annulment, and then some adultery thrown in that results in beheading. Maybe Catherine Parr (the last of them) just assumed she had the power to change him.


Who knows?

The point is, of course, that when a man says that it's not you . . . it's him . . . he really means that.

It's totally him.

Also, it's perfectly cool with god if you change the religion around to suit your purposes.

Perfectly cool.

Just as long as the tithing goes to the right people.

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