I Read the News Today Oh Five

I don't normally read the news.

Not that I prefer to stay uniformed, I actually like knowing stuff, it's just that I used to get all my current events spoon fed to me by NPR during my morning/evening commute, and I don't commute any more. I also don't get the paper anymore either.

But news is really good for when I can't think of things to write about. Not that I ever suffer from writer's block (that's a sissy's way out) No . . . mostly I have too many competing ideas and then there's always that weird smoonch on the hardwood floors that I have to clean up before my mother comes over. So I check the news sites for something quick and decisive.

Anyway, today's five was going to be something about babies, or music, or excercise, or christmas present wrapping, and there is always that smoonch and I also need to get some tuna, which we're out of, so I kinda puttered around instead of writing.

After about an hour, I realized I was off schedule and it was time to dig in, but I didn't really have much rolling around, so it's off the the BBC.

Now, I'm not advocating the BBC as a go to news ap. I just happen to like it because it doesn't have as much adware, it uses the convention of putting the day-month-year (instead of the month-day-year that we use for some odd reason), and for each story it puts up the basic facts and if you continue scrolling, you can also get the OpEd pieces. I like to see all the moving parts before I'm told howto think about them.

Anyway, there wasn't anything big/awesome that stuck out, so I thought I'd just share the Top Five:

First Up: Rendition
That would be TORTURE to you and me. In fact, it didn't even use the word Rendition. We're now just back to using the word Torture. Spades being spades and all. There's still a bit about Enhanced Interrogation Techniques, but we're not using Rendition any longer. In all truth . . . I knew that we used to use the word, but I couldn't remember what the word was. I had to Google "Terms for Torture" which gave me nothing. The I remembered that there was a movie with Glenn Close that used the euphamism as it's title, and went to IMDB and searched her filmography, but that gave me nothing either. Then I decided to actually use the word "Euphamism Torture" and found a list of them, of which Rendition was one.

Turns out it was Meryl Streep and not Glenn Close who starred in the movie "Rendition"

Anway, torture was used post 9/11, but it wasn't very effective. So says the new report.

Go figure.

Second Up: New Star Wars Character Names Revealed
My wife asked me when the new Star Wars film was coming out and I told her it wasn't for another year. She was like "What!? Then why is there so much stuff being posted about it?"

"Foreplay" was really my only answer.

Thirdly: The Pope denies audience with the Dalai Lama
This one was kind of interesting. Apparently there are two versions of Catholicism in China. A state sanctioned group and an underground group and there's a fight going on as to which group gets to pick bishops. Since China gets all ruffled when any statesperson talks to the Dalai Lama, the Pope decided it would be best to just keep their relationship casual. Friends without benefits, as it were.

Fourth: Sea World stocks are "Drowning"
If you got a chance to see the documentary "Blackfish" then you'll know why. If you haven't and feel that you haven't gone to bed in a while with that sick feeling in your gut, you should watch it. If you much prefer a good night's rest, then watch "Free Willy" instead.

Fifth: Facebook contemplates "Dislike" button.
Now, if you've spent any time on Facebook, you know that all of your friends either live wonderful beautiful lives, or in Greek Tragedies. There is very little in between. Anyway . . . the only way for you to respond to these peak/valley lives is by commenting, or "Liking"

But lets say your cousin's girlfriend is like really totally stuck at the airport.

You can't "Like" it because who likes to be stuck at the airport?

But you don't really know your cousin's girlfriend all that well, so writing actual words of condolence might seem a little creepy.

But you really want her to read your blog, so engaging in the moment is important.

What do you do?

Well . . . I guess you could add a "Dislike" button, but I gotta tell you, that would probably be more hurtful than supportive in just about every situation I can think of.

I think they should get rid of "Like" all together and just have a "Damn Girl" button.

It could go both ways.

Like your sister posts that she broke her leg in a snowblower accident and you can just hit the "Damn Girl!" button as in "Damn Girl . . . that sucks."

But then her roomate posts a semi-naked selfie from the hospital bathroom asking people if they like her new bikini bottom and instead of hitting "Like" you can hit the "Damn Girl" button to send the message that "Damn Girl. . . you look hot!" while simultaneously keeping things from getting awkward when your wife asks you about it and trying to sound convincing that what you meant was "Damn Girl . . . don't you have any self respect?"

And just so I'm covered, I have officially copyrighted the "Damn Girl" button.

If Facebook would like to purchase the rights to the Damn Girl my asking price would be a tuna sandwich and a visit with the Pope.

Assuming I haven't angered the Chinese.

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