The Definitive Five

So, last night I accidentally broke a salt shaker. I felt kinda bad about it cause it was the shaker that was part of our dining set.

Although, truth be told, it's lasted  more than a decade in a kitchen run by a total clutz, so it really beat the odds.

And, just as it happens, there is a salt and pepper set (a very nice Nightmare Before Xmas gift) that has been sitting empty and unused on my counter for months cause I just haven't bothered filling them yet. And it also just so happens that the gift giver herself is visiting next weekend so, that actually worked out nifty.

So I filled the new ones up and went about my remorseless existence.

Now, for some reason, I always just assumed that the salt shaker has the three holes and the pepper shaker has just the one. And that's how I filled these ones. But, wait, what's this? They're actually labeled and the one with three holes is for the pepper and the single one for salt. How could this be? The Disney Corporation doesn't make mistakes. I've clearly been wrong my entire life.

It's moments like these where I question if I'll ever be a grown-up.

But I had to go to the internet for the diffinitive answer, cause that's what the internet is for, and I discovered something; there is no diffinitive answer. Some salt shakers have lots of holes, some just one. It's really up to the manufacturer.

Which I think is wrong.

Freedom does not give anyone the right to needlessly complicate things.

Three holes for the salt.

One hole for the Pepper.

I have spoken.

And since that is now resolved, I think it might be high time to difinitively answer all kinds of questions.

Number One:
Where should we go to eat?
Unless you planned this ahead of time an got all parties to agree in writing, then deciding where to go when everyone starts to get peckish is problably one of the most complicated aspects of social interaction. So the new rule: If someone evers says where should we go to eat, the answer is now officially Pizza. Everyone likes it, everyone can afford it, and your buddies new girlfriend who is kinda too young for him and refuses to eat foods that require a blank tile to spell out in Scrabble, can be easily pointed over to the salad bar.

Number Two:
What's on TV?
The answer is nothing. Read a book.

Number Three:
Can I have a cookie?
Yes, unless I have to get up from the couch, then, no.

Number Four:
Analogue or digital?
Digital, unless I have to get up from the couch, then, analogue.

Number Five:
Boxers or briefs?
Yes, please do.

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