Steven Seagal Week

Oh yeah.

It's Steven Seagal Week on AMC!

I'm willing to bet that up until this moment, you never knew there was a Steven Seagal Week. In fact, I'm willing to bet that it never would have occurred to you that there was any need for Steven Seagal week. That a universe lacking a Steven Seagal Week was clearly incomplete.

I too was like you.

Up until 9:15 this morning.

With a cup of coffee and catching up on The Walking Dead.

Then I was suddenly informed that the work of Steven Seagal classifies as one of the Fifty Two most important things to celebrate this year.

Which, when you think about it, of course it is.

I feel almost foolish for not having thought about it before, and I consider myself to be quite the connoisseur of Seagal's artistic out put.

I've actually seen two of his movies from start to finish.

I know.

I should write a book.

And the book should be called "Hard to Kill Under Siege: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Steve."

But after my second cup and a little death and dismemberment, I realized that maybe I didn't know enough Steven Seagal trivia to last an entire blog let alone a dissertation.

Off to the internets!

Did you know that aside from starring in two movies I've seen,  Steven Seagal is an accomplished director, producer, guitarist, deputy sheriff, reincarnated lama?

That he is the same age as my mother and once broke Sean Connery's hand during the filming of Never Say Never?

Which, when you think about it, of course he did.

Yet as much as I wanted it to be true, he did not invent the pony tail, nor did he star in only movies with three word titles.

But between you and me, I'm not gonna stop believing, for it was the early nineties, and a very formative age for me.

So I started thinking, in all honesty, like I do, that it must have been a very interesting meeting at the AMC headquarters when the suggestion tossed out to the group to create and promote Steven Seagal Week.

Like the guy at the head of the table said something like "Well, it's almost lunch, are there any other ideas for the first week of November?"

and after a long pause where everyone at the table made slow uncomfortable eye contact with everyone else at the table, and someone's stomach rumbled uncomfortably, Joey raised his hand.

"Steven Segal Week?" Joey said meekly.

"What was that Joey?" said the guy at the head of the table.

"Steven Seagal Week?" Joey said again a little louder.

"Did you say Steven Seagal Week?"

"Mmm Hmm."

"Okay, does anyone have a problem with Steven Seagal Week?"

Crickets.

Tummy rumble.

Eye contact.

"Done. And please, would everyone remember, not to talk about last night's Walking Dead. Thank-you."

Because that's how things happen.

But not really.

In reality AMC bought a catalogue from a distributer and someone realized that there were at least six different Steven Seagal movies on the list. And although you may think it's easy to program a cable network, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year is a lot of space to fill.

And although, as a content creator myself, I am horrified that there are so few opportunities for new work to see the light of day, when there is clearly so much space needing to be filled, at least in this modern world I have YouTube and Blogspot.

AMC can have their back catalogue and their Steven Seagal Week.

Kelly Lebrock could sure use the residuals.