diStraction Saturday Six

Terribly sorry for the lack of Friday Five.

No excuses, I just got super lazy. Seems to be a particularly seasonal pattern of mine. I notice readerships drops dramatically during the holidays and then I notice that the number and length of my posts are responsible and then I eat more pie.

Pumpkin pie is my favorite. It's a breakfast, lunch, and dinner dessert as far as I'm concerned, so I can totally understand why people want to put it on everything from lattes to candles.

But I also understand meth addiction and trickle down economics.

I did a Super Sunday Seven last year to make up for the super lazy Friday, but nothing, nothing, not even all the people I love and admire are going to come between me, trays upon trays of hot wings and twelve hours of football tomorrow.

What have I become?

A work in progress, I guess.

Leonardo Da Vinci carried the Mona Lisa with him for most of his whole life making minor adjustments throughout the decades. The most valuable object in the world and was completed not because of it's perfection, but because of the artist's death.

I can imagine Leo on a super lazy friday, standing in the hallway between his bedroom and studio, staring at the particular angle at which the sun is dancing upon her elusive smile and thinking "I'd love to get back to work, but the History Channel is having a 'Pawn Stars' marathon."

Did they have the History Channel during the renaissance? 

I'm sure they did, but it was mostly rediscovered footage of the crusades.

Colorized for the first time.

Which might have taken longer to do had Leo dedicated more time to Mona.

But we all need distractions.

Here are six of my favorite:

Number one: Tea
Green, black, white, oolong, whatever. Tea is unlike coffee in that you can't set a timer for it and have it ready by the time you make your way from the bedroom floor to the kitchen sink. Tea requires deliberate manipulation. The right water, the right tea, the right pot. Temperature is a factor, steeping time is a factor. This ain't no set it and forget it, it is a full seven minutes of constant care, and producing it requires that you drop whatever it is you were previously doing, or previously thinking of doing. It'll never replace a cigarette, but you can do it indoors.

Number Two: Books I've already read.
Starting a new book is hard. There are too many characters to remember and modern authors are constantly trying to push the intellectual envelope, which I applaud, but secretly hate. I need you to trick me with eye candy and falling in love before I realize I've made a commitment. Rereading an old book is like having friends over for dinner. Good friends. The kind that bring cheap wine and already know what's in your medicine cabinet.

Number Three: Helping Calvin with video games.
I can't honestly say I'm much help anymore, but there was a land before time in which I had magical powers. Somewhere between the Sega Genesis and the Xbox 360 my skills have diminished and followed the elves to the gray havens. But I will stop in the middle of whatever I'm doing to at least have a look and in some cases be able to offer suggestions. I will get sucked in, and in doing so eventually have to create my own file, so I can play after he has gone to bed.

Number Four: Chores.
Sometimes, doing anything is better than doing something, and right now I'm sitting here wondering when the grass is going to need to be mowed next.

Number Five: Personal Hygiene.
It may sound gross, but I do my best work in the morning between my first and second cup of coffee. But sometimes it takes longer than that. Sometimes I'm looking up at the clock and thinking that I should probably put on pants because I have to start dinner soon. A hot shower between paragraphs makes a real difference.

Number Six: Social Media.
I have yet to find the balance between social media as a tool and social media as heroine. And I'm active on so many different platforms that by the time I've cycled through them all, it becomes almost necessary to start again from the beginning to see if any of my posts, likes, and comments have been reposted, liked, or commented upon. I'm not alone. There are ten bazillion of us, and more natural born surfers are being squeezed out every minute. I have a friend who has given up Facebook for the holidays and a niece who has deleted her account entirely. I envy them in the way I envy anyone who can drink a single glass of wine. Which is to be both admiring and find them ridiculous at the same time. Coupling social media and fantasy football and it is a miracle I've gotten any work done at all since September.

And as I close out this week's list, I hope you all have had a wonderful coma inducing holiday weekend, sorry you have to go back to work/school, Hunger Games:Catching Fire is well worth the price of admission and go Niners!

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