Scratch and Sniff Five

Wait . . . Dad?

MmmHmm?

What does Tooty Fruity smell like?

There is no such thing. Why?

Cause I picked the Tooty Fruity sticker.

What does it smell like to you?

It smells like sour.

Like lemons, limes?

No, like bad fruit.

Like evil kiwi?

No, like bad fruit.

Like drunk and disorderly casaba?

No, like bad fruit.

When have you had bad fruit?

I don't know.

Kay.

Now when I was a kid, scratch and sniff stickers came in only one smell:

"Scratch and Sniff" Smell.

Could have a picture of chocolate cake or a bowl of fresh strawberries, but it always smelled the same after you scratched it.  A sweet stale smell like medicine with a candy coating. Yet it has become clear that scratch and sniff technology has grown so precise that they have to create an entire new vocabulary around the exotic smell catalogue.

Tooty Fruity

Oh, Rudy.

So here we go, Random Five Scratch and Sniff Smells that I think could have a chance to make it in the internet age.

1. Clean Baby
Nothin like clean baby smell. It is without a doubt the single most dominant reason why we don't eat our young.

2. Skittle Breath
Not a mouth full of Skittles (cause that would be too overpowering), but when you are talking to someone who just enjoyed a mouth full of Skittles. It's softer, sweeter, and makes you instantly like the person. I would so stick that sticker on my wrist and take heavy sniffs during awkward moments of just about every conversation I've ever had.

3. Ripping the foil off a brand new pack of Marlboro Lights.
Stale, sweet, agonizing death.

4. Grandma's Purse
A heavy mixture of bottled perfume, lipstick, and double mint gum.

5. WD-40
You know when you smell WD-40 that something went and got itself fixed. Something that had been sitting around unfixed for like ever. When you smell WD-40 you know you're smelling someone who has just secured the right to take an afternoon nap. WD-40 is the smell of champion.

Please, send me the smells you would like stick on your wrist and make other people smell. Maybe we can get something going with some Capital Investment groups.

Have a good week end y'all.