Fifteen to Showtime Five


So I gots about fifteen minutes before I get into the car and hustle to my next gig.

Tonight at 6:00 (incase you was wondering)


I thought rather than pacing back and forth waiting for Joann to find a top that makes her look eighteen again, I would post up a few of my favorite pre show rituals.

Of which there are five:

1. Sleep In
There are a lot of chores that you can't really do prior to performing, so there's really no need to be that early worm. You don't want to tax your voice, break a nail, or (and this is totally true) throw out your back trying to change the tire on your 1963 Ford Galaxie. That was one strange show, where I had to be carried on stage and then carried off again. Anyway, not much to do besides pace and read and make every else as nervous as you are. So hit the snooze alarm till at least 10:47am.

2. Eat a Big Lunch
Tummy's gonna be too queesy for pasta carbonara late in the afternoon, so go ahead and splurge those calories with an extra side of fries around noon. You're gonna be starving after the show, so plan an exit strategy.

3. Sit ups
Learned this after a dance class got in the way of my sleeping in once. A hard core workout releases that lower shakra and puts your diaphragm in the right place.

4. Luxuriate in the Hygene
Long hot shower. Clip toenails. put a little extra gel in your hair and weazle the lint out of your belly button. The person on stage is a lie. make it a pretty lie.

5. Have fun
Or, as my best friend John said to me exactly thirty seconds before we walked out onstage to a crowd of 2,000 people, "This is supposed to be fun, so try not to fuck it up for the rest of us, Josh."

See you on Monday :)

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