It's Mother's Day Weekend and since Waitdad is primarily focused on fathers and sons 250 posts out of the year, I think its high time to celebrate the indispensable ButMom with a little Friday Five:
So here goes:
Five Reasons Why Mom is better than Dad:
1. She is easier to please.
All you needs is flowers and a handwritten card to show her how much you love her. Dad, on the other hand, won't be satisfied with anything you do the rest of your life if you're a boy, and if you're a girl, all he cares about is marrying you off before he has to start paying the interest on your school loans.
2. Mom will drive you anywhere.
The wheels on her bus go round and round. Dad, however, will not take you anywhere that is within any distance that you could reach on your bike in less than a day. Anything farther and he will question your reason for going there in the first place.
3. Mom will cut the fat off your steak and the crusts off your bread.
Dad will say "Eat your steak" and if you don't he will eat it for you. And don't ever show him you have a sandwich. Dad loves sandwiches. Especially if he can watch you cry while he's eating it.
4. Mom will never hit you with a stray pitch when you're crowding the plate.
I know most baseball coaches are men, but frankly its a little misogynistic of you to assume that a woman can't coach a pony league team. However, with that said, a man will absolutely consider hitting his son/daughter with a baseball if he thinks it will send the right message. So, kids, if your dad is pitching, keep that back foot planted and your eye on the ball.
5. Mom just loves you more.
She does. All there is to it.
Dad does love you.
He loves you very much.
Even if you're a girl.
But mom loves you more.
Even if you're a girl.
But especially if you're a boy.
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