Friday Five: Because boys are easier

Got some fun response from yesterday's post.

It was one of those last minute things as I was staring into space trying to think of something witty to say when Joann, from out of somewhere, asked if we would be just as happy if we had had girls instead of boys.

I didn't pause for a second.


And I don't know if she was more hurt by the fact that I was too curt or too cold or if I was being dismissive, but she shot right back at me with "You can't possibly know that!" as if she was worried that I had already given the matter extensive thought, and had come to the right conclusion years ago.

Which I have.

And I did.

The "What if" scenario is a popular topic in my marriage as I'm sure it is in yours, or will be when, and the  situational fantasy of having had girls instead of boys comes up after almost every commercial. I myself have written about it several times, since the theme is ripe for classless one liners, and is a wishing-well as deep as race relations and airplane food.

Yet, as I was in the shower this morning, it occurred to me that we couldn't possibly love our children less  (yes we can, but that's for another post) and parenting no matter what the circumstances is the impossible scenario where no matter what you do, you will have done it wrong.

So why boys over girls?


Boys are just a little easier.

and here's five reasons why:

1. Boys don't need clothes.
Yes, of course they need clothes, but look what happens in the first six months. If you have a girl, you are showered with all kinds of cute outfits. Dresses, shoes, bonnets. All stuff that will be worn once, if ever, and finish out the rest of eternity in a plastic wardrobe bin in the garage. If you have a boy, you are showered with diapers, formula, onesies, and a mother load of butt wipes and hand-sanitizers. Things you will need in perpetuity.

2. Boys don't cry.
Ridiculous. Of course boys cry. If they are anything like my boys, they cry all the time. All. The. Time.
But when my boys start to cry, I can walk out onto the base ball field and say things like "Are you crying? Really? Are you really crying? Fine! Why don't you just cry your little heart out? The rest of us will just stop and wait and watch you cry until you decide to grow a pair of testicles and we can get on with the game." and then storm back into the dugout. Can't say that to girls. Mostly because they don't have testicles.

3. Boys have testicles.
Much easier to keep clean.

4. Boys grow up to be . . . well . . .  boys.
Their stuff gets bigger, faster, louder and they might take on a few essential skills, but once you've gotten used to the dirt, the smell, and things breaking all the time, you're good to go. Girls, however, grow up to be teenagers, then ladies, then women. One more terrible stage after another. You will never know who and or what is going on.

5. I love my boys.
Oh, I'm sure if they were girls, I would love those just as much,

but not really.

1 comment:

  1. I really thought I wanted a boy.... their clothes are cooler, they don't get that whiney pre teen thing going at age 6, I like dirt and camping and fishing. BUT I figure that I can deal with the pinkness of her wardrobe ( and jeans make anything look cool) I will shut that whining up before it can creep out of her perfect cute lil mouth and she can like dirt and camping..... BOYS... their reckless lil bodies will see an ER before age 5, at least ONCE... that's a HUGE copay my friend....stitches cost cash.. have fun with those! LOVE YOU JOSH hope all is good