Identity Crisis

A guy told me the other day that his wife dresses up like Princess Leia sometimes.

Which breaks all kinds of WaitDad rules.

Please don't misunderstand, I am a firm believer in pursuing whatever fantasy, costume play, contact sport or organized religion that gets you off.

Go, I say, Go!

But there should never be a scenario unto which my vivid imagination is visually raped by the very idea of your naked body.

Unless I find you hot.

And there is a very specific litmus test you can use to determine whether or not I want to imagine you naked.

The first rule of hotness is that you're not a boy, and second, you're my wife.

All others need not apply.

And here's a question for you:

When did Princess Leia become a sex symbol? Cause I am a huge Star Wars fan. Huge. But there is a truth about Star Wars that I think everyone seems to be missing.

Han Solo is not the hero.

He's the best friend.

He is Horatio, Mercutio, and Ronald Weasly. He's a subplot with the coolest lines and the best hair.

But he's not the protagonist.

He's not the guy every seven year old dreams of becoming.

He's no Luke Skywalker.

And if your childhood psyche was formed by the desire to wield a lightsaber and use the force,


that would make Leia your sister.

Again, I'm totally "Game On" for kinky, I just want all y'all to be aware of the subtext.

Not to get me wrong again. I do think the early eighties era Carrie Fisher was a very attractive girl, but I like her more for her ascorbic whit in "Postcards From the Edge." and the pop culture footnote that she used to be married to Paul Simon.

Which reminds me of story I just heard:

During the recording of "We are the World";

(Please, for the love of god, and all that is holy, please look this up if you don't know what it was.)

I will wait.

Anyway, during the recording of "We Are the World" Paul Simon leaned over to Huey Lewis and said:

"If a bomb were to go off right here, John Denver would be back on top."

Which made me laugh.

And then made me sad.

John Denver was a perfectly packaged, clear voiced artist with impeccable approachability.

Easily the top selling artist of the 1970's, instantly recognizable both visually and sonically, and yet, and yet . . .

at the height of his career, he fired everyone around him, and shot off on his own.

John Denver didn't want to be John Denver no more. He wanted to be Paul Simon or Bob Dylan.

He set fire to his sunset career and it only took him a few years but he became a joke instead of an icon.

He died in 1997 off the coast of California in an experimental plane.

His answer was apparently blowing in the wind.

Which makes me laugh.

And then makes me sad again.

I've been thinking about image packaging a lot over the last few days as I put into motion a marketing campaign for the album.

Who is WaitDad?

What is WaitDad?

It started with this idea that the story behind the music is as enriching as the notes themselves, that it is the means by which the ends are justified.

Pop culture artist and commentator. To mingle the mundane with the iconic. Creating a trail you can follow, or just content you can nibble at. Each piece standing by itself but only part of a more epic journey.

Who am I if not a father and a musician and a writer and the guy you want at the party who knows that the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field is 3,720 to 1?

But that's not an image that is easily packaged. It's not easily described and therefore, not easily sold.

Which part of this mini media empire is going to have to fold before I take another step. How will I have to dress?

And thank god I don't have enough hair to pull off the Page Boy look, but if I did, would I?

I don't know if I could be John Denver any more than I could be the guy who dresses his wife up like his sister.

So the question remains to be answered.

But rest assured,

when I find it,

you'll know.

Because I'll be trying to sell you something.

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