Five Questions

So Joann and I received a handwritten letter in the mail from Heather **** made out to "The Macrea Family".

No, I did not just misspell my own last name, Heather did.

In it was a handwritten note. There is apparently some information that Heather would like to share with us, and it also came with a pamphlet.

Heather has decent enough penmanship even if her grammar is a little off. I can't tell if she is sweet mother of two, or an 11 year old doing a little Sunday school penance for hogging the X Box and making her little brother wear a dress.

The pamphlet has seven questions.

Two of the questions are about God, which is way out of my jurisdiction, but the other questions I think I can answer quite reasonably:

1. Would you like to know the truth?

Yes . . . but not really. 
Knowledge is power, 
ignorance is bliss, 
black is beautiful. 
The cake is a lie.

2. Will war and suffering ever end?

Only when we are dead.

3. What happens to us when we die?

There are only two things that can happen. Either something or nothing.

4. Is there any hope for the dead?

Good question. 
In reference to the previous, if one dies believing that something will happen, then I hope it does. 
If one dies believing that nothing will happen, then I hope it doesn't.
(that part's real funny there, read it again)

5. How can I find happiness in life?

Candy. Bacon. Scotch. Cigarettes. Laughter.
 Hot dogs that snap when you bite into them. 
Cool Ranch Doritos.
The squishy parts of a consenting adult.
Or any combination of those things.

Happy Friday everybody,

you too, Heather.

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