Five Reasons

Calvin sits on the couch.

I motion for him to move over.

Why do you always sit in this spot? Why can't I sit in this spot

Here are five reasons that its my spot.

1. I'm left handed and on this side of the couch I can reach my wine better.

2. I'm right eyed dominant, so I can see the TV better from here.

3. It's on the side nearer the kitchen for when the soup needs stirring.

4. My butt has a particular shape that has molded over the years in this particular couch,

And 5,

Because its mine goddamn it, so move over.

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