Welcome to the second installment of Wait . . . Dad's NFL Blog, The 40ft. POST.
Got a lot of great feedback from last week. Thank you Dad, Thank you Jeff, Thank you Steve. And we also picked up quite a few extra reads, if not actual fans, so we got that going for us . . . which is nice.
Also . . .
Who's got two quotation marks and had Allen Hurns locked and loaded on sheer guess work in his ForFuns Fantasy league?
"This Guy."
I am the 1%.
Anyway,
IN BIG NEWS:
Can't read a single headline without stumbling over Ray Rice's lifetime (hopefully) ban from the NFL. All I've got to say about that situation is if some network offers him a reality TV show, I will officially cancel Comcast and write this blog from my local coffee shop.
Questions answered: Yes, the Seahawks are frighteningly good still (cough, cough, 2013 Ravens), The Falcons were not significantly cursed by "Hard Knocks" (cough, cough 2013 Miami), Mark Ingram was finally able to take his Heisman Trophy out of his mother's linen closet, and for the rest of the season Norv Turner is going to be on the sidelines looking at both hands mumbling "Peterson-Patterson? Peterson-Patterson? Uma-Oprah? Peterson-Patterson?"
We might also add that the Giants are still getting used to their new offense. Which we knew back in June. But there's comfort there. Unless you're a Victor Cruz fan. And by Victor Cruz fan I mean . . . Dad.
Questions left unanswered: Maybe the New England offense is gonna be dangerous with Gronk back in cleats? Maybe Knowshon Moreno isn't just a one-hit-with-Peyton-Manning-as-QB-wonder? Maybe they should get the ball out to Jamaal Charles more than 11 times per game?
Actually, that last one's a gimme.
The answer is yes.
Yes, oh god, yes.
But in the imortal words of some one who says immortal things, there's a lot of football left to play.
WHAT TO WATCH:
This coming week is gonna be all about confirming what we already know, Seattle scary, Phillie Fast.
Crossing our fingers for another valiant effort: Hoyer, McCown, Carr.
Seeing what we didn't see last week: Niners, Patriots, Cowboys.
And hating everyone on the Giants except Rashad Jennings (who is still really just a Raider)
Now last week we talked about the NFL as the "Do what the winning teams did last year" league, where I came to the crazy conclusion that we would see a lot more fast paced, ground and pound offenses trying to capture a little lightening from the Seatle, Eagle, Niner, Chief bottle.
What I missed was the throw wobbly short spirals with uncanny accuracy to Julius Thomas.
My bad.
I also missed the shifty dudes with two roles. Harvin, Sproles, Golden Tate, Patterson and to a lesser extent Woodhead and to a lesser lesser lesser extent Mcluster.
Confuse the defense with RB's in the WR position, WR's in the RB position, Michael Vick on the field.
That last one didn't work so well.
But "E" for effort.
Yet, I think I posted correctly in that Chip Kelley's 2013 offense opened the doors for experimentation in 2014 that Denver's use of Tebow 2011 did not do for 2012. I don't even think RGIII got a bootleg.
But high percentage plays, 4, 5, 6, yards down the field seemed to be the thing we all watched, unless you are Matthew Stafford looking for Calvin Johnson and just kind of lobbing the ball in that general direction, so I also think I was right in Kelley's offense having an impact.
Impact everywhere except on Kelley's actual 2014 offense for the first 30 minutes against the Jags. I couldn't watch the game cause I haven't bought the big package, but watching the stat tracker, it went something like this:
FOLES incomplete pass to MACLIN
FOLES incomplete pass to MACLIN
FOLES incomplete pass to MACLIN
PUNT
I'm looking at my iPad going, what? A slow one-sided aerial attack? Did I miss something?
By the end of the half the Jags were up 17-0, and all I could think of - as a McCoy owner in my ForReals team - was this:
"That's it. I'm done with football."
But good ole Chip must have walked into the locker room and said something like "Well, now that we've freaked everyone out, shall we play a game?"
And then went on to score 34 points and leave the Jags TD-less.
I really want him as my Uncle.
and speaking of crying "Uncle"
INJURIES AND BAD DECISIONS:
First of all, I never want to see that Tyler Eifort replay again. Second of all, remember last week when I said I was slightly regretting taking Foster over Doug Martin? NO RAGRATS. Lacy is down, Tate's down, Gehart's down, both Chicago receivers went down (but they might be more like weeble wobbles), the Ram's QB went down (what was his name again?)
Still up? Practically all the guys I put on the "Pretty Much Guaranteed to Go Down List." Percy Harvin, Steven Jackson, Arian Foster, hell, even Michael Crabtree caught 3 for 25.
Oops.
Good thing I don't do this for a living.
I will however point out that I thought it would behoove the NFLPA to renegotiate for a more reasonable set of rules regarding marijuana and low and behold, the vote could come as early as tomorrow morning. Even Senator John McCain sent a letter to Goodall regarding a rethink.
I always knew McCain was a hippy.
Or has Josh Gordon in his Dynasty league.
Actually, McCain sent the letter regarding the usage of Human Growth Hormones and it's increased use among child athletes. And he sent it in February.
But still.
Way to be progressive Johnny boy.
and speaking of progress . . .
NORCAL NOTES:
We really wanted to see what a Niner offense can do with a healthy receiver core and a QB whose dreams of a Manhattan Penthouse are predicated on a Super Bowl win.
But the "flawed" and "weakened" Niner defense didn't let that happen.
Yeah, okay . . . maybe Romo didn't have that great a game, but still . . . the defense played hard and angry and exploited every mistake they could get their hands on. That actually means something.
And the Raiders?
Well . . . what can I say?
They executed exactly the way I called it.
A little bit of Mojo, a little bit of Run DMC, a little throw left, a little throw right, a freshman QB who's head was sometimes still in the last play and a defense that was slow but knew where to be. It wasn't a win, but it wasn't a mess. I think they done excellent.
"A" for Almost.
and speaking of letter grades . . .
WAIT . . . DAD? FANTASYLAND:
ForFuns Team: 1-0 (2nd place)
ForReals Team: 1-0 (5th place)
The four months leading to this first Sunday were tough. I had to learn a lot, not only about football itself, but also drafting strategies, past mistakes, and I had to learn a lot about who I was, and what my meaning might be in this life.
The third one's a joke.
My existence in the cosmic universe was confirmed years ago.
But I still couldn't find any luck with Running Backs.
Anyway, if you remember last weeks comlumn, this year was Homework over Hype. There would be no dedication to RBs (ala 2011), there would be no essential hording of QBs (ala 2012) there would be no breakout candidates (ala Spiller, Wilson, Miller, Austin, Eifort 2013) and I was absolutely not gonna chase the WR craze that every analyst pontificated upon (ala 2014).
And both my teams did exactly what they were supposed to do.
Hit their projections.
And that's exactly what happened. Win, win.
But there of course, were some anomalies.
First, the ForReals Team, my entire defensive core wet the bed.
I was shocked, since that's never been a problem for me, but the guys who were supposed to lock it up, didn't; and there was this curious moment where I drafted Jadaveon Clowney, cause I figured offenses were just going to run in his direction to avoid JJ Watt, but I had second thoughts and switched him out for Quinton who was projected to do much better and hadn't spent the entire preseason hurt (I'm getting gun shy with breakouts; Spiller, Wilson, Miller, Austin, Eifort). Quinton goes down with a concussion in the first series and Clowney goes out a series later, so I lost an entire spot either way. Bad luck with a chance of meatballs.
The other anomaly - in my favor this time - was that in my ForFuns League, Sunday morning, I read that Cecil Shorts III was injured and I decided to put up Hurns instead of Pitta in my WR/TE spot.
Just for fun.
And yes, that was fun.
ESPN and CBS Sports have both sent me gift cards for IHOP.
One column in Rotowire called me a Jedi.
I'd like to add to the record that I didn't know she was my sister.
But it's not enough to parade around Dave&Busters with my hand held high, I wanted to know if my strategy worked.
And a curious thing happened.
The guy who beat my score in the ForFuns League did it with 2014 Hype.
His first three guys were Green, Marshall, and Thomas (WR,WR,TE)
Also, the one reason I jumped to second was the Nostradamus addition of Hurns in the midnight hour.
Maybe the analysts weren't crazy after all.
Cause check this out:
In the ForReals League, there were actually five guys that beat my score. Two of them, just a few points above so we won't count them because of how bad my defense died, but of the three remaining, the one who didn't win but still beat my score; Green and Marshall (WR, WR). And the guy who beat him?
Calvin Johnson and Julio Jones. (WR,WR)
And the boys who beat all of us?
Peyton, Murray, Thomas. (QB,RB,TE) Which considering their tenth spot, was almost identical with my strategy: Just grab the most dominant player at his position in the round.
and maybe lean toward a Niner if you're me, and a Cowboy . . . cause . . . you know . . . Steve.
So in the ForReals League, we have two winning teams that went Homework, Two Winning Teams that went Hype, One winning team that went Classic (RB,RB,RB), and of course the one team that went AutoDraft (gotta have a control).
So we'll track it and see.
and speaking of seeing things . . .
LAST WEEKS CRAZY/STUPID ANALYSIS:
There will be three QB's breaking the 5,000 mark this year (Holding)
Moreno will be a top ten RB (Touchdown)
My teams make the playoffs (Holding)
Eli gets pulled from the game (Flag, Offensive foul)
Michael Sams makes the roster (Holding)
CRAZY/STUPID PREDICTIONS FOR THIS WEEK:
Hoyer settles down and Hawkins becomes the next Allen Hurns
Arian Foster runs for over 200 yards and four touch downs against the Raiders
Victor Cruz has a good fantasy day and Dad spends the rest of the year in panicky deliberation.
Golden Tate out performs Megatron. (But only because Carolina is going to swtich to a 3-2-6 defense; three man rush, two man safety, six on Calvin)
Everyone who is holding onto Gordon right now will see their work/life/FF balance disintegrate as they spend nine/tenths of their waking moments checking Yahoo Sports for breaking news.
That's it for this week.
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